For my entire life, I’ve had Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Attention-Deficit Disorder (the Hyperactivity component comes and goes). This means my brain basically almost never shuts up. I’ve had sleep difficulties my whole life too, probably for the same reason; it’s not severe enough to be called insomnia per se, but it generally takes me awhile to nod off. I was literally this way as a baby, and my dad has always had the same issue with sleep, so whatever it is, it’s genetic.
This combination of factors also means that I basically never stop coming up with ideas, particularly creative ones. I’ll spontaneously rewrite songs to be about random things, or intentionally sing the wrong lyrics when I’m singing along, or sing in a different style (adding Michael Jackson-style vocalizations like “hee-hee” and “shamone” to stylistically inappropriate songs has long been a favorite). It’s like my brain is constantly processing things and trying to make them into new things.
I’ve actually turned this tendency into (a very small amount of) extra income, by releasing a five-song cover EP, where I sang, played, and arranged everything myself (plug plug: https://music.apple.com/us/album/all-covered-up-ep/1690240415).
My point is, we all have ways that we’re different from most others. We can choose to let these things make us feel weird and out of place, or we can embrace them and use them as strengths.
The other day I read an article about the already-legendary 21-year-old basketball phenom Caitlin Clark. She is, obviously, quite driven. She is also a unique person, and often had trouble fitting in with her peers. She wants to be the greatest female basketball player of all time, and she may well get there.
I don’t quite have that type of competitive drive – not that I’m not competitive, but that I’m able to turn it on and off like a switch, and for the sake of my mental health I spend most of my time in non-competitive mode. But I get what she’s wanting, because I also want to be in a league of my own.
In the fields whose peripheries I inhabit – education and the creative arts – words like “best” are highly subjective – but I can absolutely be a one of one in those fields. That is my goal. With music in particular, I’m well on my way to creating my own genre.
Such lofty ambitions are impossible, however, if we don’t embrace (rather than avoid) our own unique traits*. (I’m writing this in bright pink specifically because it isn’t what someone would expect if they didn’t know me. Accept your differences!) If you feel like a square peg in a round hole, then find those who accept you for who you are – and accept yourself!
*The one exception is if your unique traits compel you to cause harm to others. If that is the case, please seek professional mental healthcare.
